a lesson from mean girls.

There are two things that I never debate about unless I feel totally comfortable with the people I am talking to. The first is politics and the second one is religion.

Politics, if this administration has taught us anything, is bleeding into every single aspect of our lives. It is at a point where politics and playing the game, is part of daily American activity. I have always had a special interest in politics, because it was a time where my dad and I would really talk about what we thought and what we believe.

My father was a Democrat. He had no problems telling people that he was democrat, and he really never understood why people became Republican in the first place. Honestly, I just think that he’s jaded because his parents became Republicans after JFK was elected. My grandmother decided that she wouldn’t vote for someone that cheated on his wife. Seriously, I think she was the only Irish Catholic woman in the Philadelphia area that did not vote for John F. Kennedy. This part of my grandparents made my Dad so mad—more so my Nana than my Pop.

But, what made him even more mad was that when I was growing up, I was the little Republican my grandparents dreamed their son would be. Now, I was 3rd or 4th grade—I literally had no understanding of the American political system, but I loved my grandparents. And, they loved Bill O’Reilly. So, in turn, I loved Bill O’Reilly. When President George W. Bush was running for president, I wanted him to win. Why? I probably couldn’t tell you. Literally, no idea. I guess I thought he looked like a nice man (which, to my credit…he actually does seem to be. Terrible president? Absolutely. A-One guy, most likely).

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A man and his poncho.

However, this made my dad so mad that my grandparents were telling me what to think and how to feel about political climates. Now, I am going to guess that he would have been mad if was the other way around, too. Because my parents were, and are, big believers in letting their children go their own path. My father was much freer about this than my mother is. But, my dad never wanted me to believe something or think something because he thought it—he always said that until the day he died. He raised me to question things if I felt that they were wrong, and stand up for what I think is right. But, it made him happy the day that I stopped being a Republican at 11 years old, and registered as an Independent when I was old enough to vote.

When I went to college, I fell on the other side of the political spectrum. I became, what my father called, “a bleeding-heart liberal.” I never understood that he was really annoyed at my conservatism but was also annoyed with my liberalism. But, yes…I went through a phase—because I look one Women in American History Education and suddenly I wanted to be Betty Friedan. I am sure I was really annoying to be around, but I will argue that all girls go through that “Stick it to the man” phase in their lifetimes. But, yes, I was one of these “snowflakes” (is that the term? I think that’s stupid) that the right now criticizes. I was offended by everything, probably. And, I thought that anyone that didn’t think or speak like me was ignorant, uneducated, and simply living under a rock.

Anyone seeing the hypocrisy in this? I read Facebook comment after Facebook comment because I am a glutton for punishment. I read the comments for the people on the right to call people on the left “libertards” (Classy)  and “snowflakes.”  I read the comments for the people on the left to call people on the right “radicals” and “bigots.” Besides a country wide seminar on how to use a thesaurus or a dictionary, I come away with these thoughts every single time:

This is what political discourse has come to in this country, and people really have the time and energy to write Facebook comments about this shit. (Says the girl writing an entire blog post, I know)

Political discourse is not about calling each other names, and finding fault with every single word in a sentence that someone writes about their endorsement or their dislike for a political candidate. When you evoke your First Amendment rights, you are not waived from dissent—that’s not how it works. The First Amendment writes allow you write what you want about someone in political office (as long it is not of a threatening nature to their lives or families’ lives) without being prosecuted. Yup.

You cannot be tried or convicted of treason because you disagree with the president. Also, can we, as a country just look up treason together and all understand and comprehend the definition? What Benedict Arnold did? Treason. Anne Boleyn? Treason-ish (I was teaching about Henry VIII, what a train wreck).

When I read posts like this, I tend to think of my students. I think of my rural Pennsylvania kid that voted for Trump, I think of my international kids that were so unsure about what was going on in our country, I think of the people that I work with that were disheartened the day after the election. The day after, the boys were buzzing in asking about how he won, what a long shot it was, and that Hillary Clinton was never going to be president.

One kid came up to my desk during my study hall, and said, “Ma’am, you’re a liberal right?” So, I asked him what he meant by that statement. He rephrased, “You don’t like Donald Trump, do you?” I could have taken this two ways, deny his statement and move on or use this as a teaching moment. Working at a private school, like the one that I do…you get a little wiggle room with things like this.

So, I said, “Do you mean, did I vote for him?” He nodded. I took a deep breath, and said, “No, I did not vote for him….” He started to ask, “why?” and I anticipated his question, “However, this is how I see it…He’s the President of the United States, and I will respect him as such. I might not have voted for him, but he is still the President of my country. I will not claim that he is not my president, because he is—even if I don’t agree with him.” I could tell he was not expecting what I had to say, and I continued, “Wanting Trump to fail is like wanting the pilot on your plane to have a heart attack. You’re all on the plane together, and you don’t want it to crash into the side of the mountain.”

He smiled, and responded “Ma’am, that’s the first time that someone who disagreed with Trump gave an answer like that.” And he reached out for a high-five. To see him have that reaction was good, but it was also a little sad. Young adults shouldn’t be surprised when people disagree politely about serious topics. Instead, they are learning to be inflammatory and judgmental behind a screen. This is what we want out children to learn? This is how we want the future generations to grow up?

This is not what I imagine for my children and my grandchildren; I want them to be able to form opinions and thoughts from listening to both sides—and maybe even living both sides. I never would have had that opinion if I hadn’t know what it is like to live on both extremes of the spectrum. And, I want other people to know what if you read something that doesn’t speak to your beliefs….that’s okay, because it’s either going to teach you something that you never knew or it’s going to deepen your belief in that system.

I want a world where kids are not afraid to ask questions and research because it speaks to their interests. I think that amount in which a person that learn is not something that needs to be prescribed to them in their textbooks in tests. For whatever reason, I always think of that scene from Mean Girls when Cady is facing off with Marilyn from the private school. “The Limit Does Not Exist” scene, if you will.

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Calling someone a snowflake or a bigot is not going to get people to change their view, and it certainly not going to get them to be able to see your differing opinion. Sometimes, it’s something that you can move on with, or sometimes you just have to walk away. At the end of the day, a post about how someone is an idiot because they backed a candidate does make them think you’re any less of any idiot for voting for the other guy.

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